Women Need Women, Period.

Having a group of women to meet with regularly is a priceless gift. As a woman with 5 brothers, I know this truth. I was the 6th child after 4 boys AND I had a twin brother. I can tell you I was NOT WELCOMED by my brothers. I get it. My mother kept having babies until she got her girl. There was already not enough to go around before I came on the scene. And my brothers resented the extra attention I got (along with my own room). But their rejection of me cut deep.

You might be surprised to hear that, to this day, I am extremely reticent and shy when joining groups. When joining a spiritual practice group a couple of years ago, I barely talked for 2 months and my inner child made sure I made myself small. I found myself stumbling over my words, feeling like I didn't belong and constantly fearing I was drawing too much attention to myself if I spoke. Family patterns die hard.

I solved this dilemma by starting my own groups! That way, I didn't have to worry about whether I was wanted or welcomed because I was doing the welcoming. Twenty five years ago, I started a book group with the other Brownie Moms (we still meet today). Fifteen years ago, I started a "Growing Your Soul" group at my church. At my house, I started a spiritual exploration group with women I respected who were curious seekers like me. And the list goes on.

I now belong to belong to THREE therapist consultation groups, ONE group with my spiritual community and ONE book group (that's FIVE!).  I am a group junkie for sure.  I soak up the safety, connection and authenticity that is the hallmark of our meetings. 

We commune with an understanding that each person needs the promise of safety--that things talked about will stay in group. That we don't tell others what to do (unless they ask us for advice). And we DO NOT judge each other. We cry together, grow together, grieve together and learn from each other. I believe groups sustain women in a way a marriage or partnership cannot (not dissing our partners--both are important) . After my groups, I feel this exuberant, soul-bursting love for my women and the magic they offer me. What an amazing birthright we women have--a comfort with and awareness of our feelings and a natural inclination to bouy the women around us.

These women have known me for years. They WANT me to be who I am and love me just as I am. This permission--this grace--to show up as you are has healed the little girl in me that longed to be loved and felt so hurt and rejected by her brothers.